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 Poem: My Beloved

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5 posters

How good was this poem? (Out of 5 stars)
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Total Votes : 10
 

AuthorMessage
Abel Dawnlan
Junior
Abel Dawnlan


Chinese Symbol : Dog
Posts : 2878
Points : 2877
Join date : 2009-05-21
Age : 30
Location : Abel in Hungryland

Character sheet
Strength :
Poem: My Beloved Left_bar_bleue124/1000Poem: My Beloved Empty_bar_bleue  (124/1000)
Intelligence:
Poem: My Beloved Left_bar_bleue125/1000Poem: My Beloved Empty_bar_bleue  (125/1000)
HP:
Poem: My Beloved Left_bar_bleue122/1000Poem: My Beloved Empty_bar_bleue  (122/1000)

Poem: My Beloved Empty
PostSubject: Poem: My Beloved   Poem: My Beloved I_icon_minitimeMon Jun 22, 2009 1:20 pm

My Beloved, By: Abel Dawnlan

The only one for me,
The one who kept me truly free,
Who's absence now imprisons me,
My Beloved.

At the ball, we're more than friends,
I wished that it wold never end,
When we kissed beneath the moonlight,
My Beloved.

My life, it bids me go,
I'm sure it hurt you so,
We say our farewells, together no longer,
My Beloved.

The pain is plenty,
Without you life is empty,
The end seems so appealing,
My Beloved.

So now I return,
The fires still burn,
But now we are foes,
My Beloved.

We meet on the fields,
And neither will yield,
A friendship renounced,
My Beloved.

Words turn to steel,
And yet I still feel,
For our lost love,
My Beloved.

The blades, they now clash,
Against shields they smash,
I regret what I've done,
My Beloved.

I drop my blade,
And never wane,
Your blade, it cleaves flesh,
My Beloved.

I lie in the dirt,
Ignoring the hurt,
My last act, a kiss for you,
My Beloved.

The only one for me,
The one who kept me truly free,
Who's return has finally ended me,
My Beloved.
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Shin Chong
Sophomore
Shin Chong


Posts : 1404
Points : 935
Join date : 2009-03-02
Location : The land of LOL. (Not really..

Character sheet
Strength :
Poem: My Beloved Left_bar_bleue80/1000Poem: My Beloved Empty_bar_bleue  (80/1000)
Intelligence:
Poem: My Beloved Left_bar_bleue104/1000Poem: My Beloved Empty_bar_bleue  (104/1000)
HP:
Poem: My Beloved Left_bar_bleue80/1000Poem: My Beloved Empty_bar_bleue  (80/1000)

Poem: My Beloved Empty
PostSubject: Re: Poem: My Beloved   Poem: My Beloved I_icon_minitimeMon Jun 22, 2009 1:34 pm

Um...
Shouldn't this go in the Originals section?
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Suzumi
Admin
Suzumi


Chinese Symbol : Rooster
Posts : 4109
Points : 3418
Join date : 2009-02-08
Age : 30
Location : places...

Character sheet
Strength :
Poem: My Beloved Left_bar_bleue161/1000Poem: My Beloved Empty_bar_bleue  (161/1000)
Intelligence:
Poem: My Beloved Left_bar_bleue167/1000Poem: My Beloved Empty_bar_bleue  (167/1000)
HP:
Poem: My Beloved Left_bar_bleue158/1000Poem: My Beloved Empty_bar_bleue  (158/1000)

Poem: My Beloved Empty
PostSubject: Re: Poem: My Beloved   Poem: My Beloved I_icon_minitimeMon Jun 22, 2009 10:16 pm

Abel-san! I think that poem is really good actually, cause somehow, I feel strong emotions from it. It's was very pleasurable to read and I liked it alot ^_^ wonderful job there!
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Miyuki Kazehana
Sophomore
Miyuki Kazehana


Chinese Symbol : Pig
Posts : 1223
Points : 1215
Join date : 2009-04-13
Age : 29
Location : YOu wouldnt know...

Character sheet
Strength :
Poem: My Beloved Left_bar_bleue55/1000Poem: My Beloved Empty_bar_bleue  (55/1000)
Intelligence:
Poem: My Beloved Left_bar_bleue53/1000Poem: My Beloved Empty_bar_bleue  (53/1000)
HP:
Poem: My Beloved Left_bar_bleue51/1000Poem: My Beloved Empty_bar_bleue  (51/1000)

Poem: My Beloved Empty
PostSubject: Re: Poem: My Beloved   Poem: My Beloved I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 23, 2009 2:48 am

Thats really nice abel... and i wonder what its about... or it might have been random... not random but... you know what i mean...
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Abel Dawnlan
Junior
Abel Dawnlan


Chinese Symbol : Dog
Posts : 2878
Points : 2877
Join date : 2009-05-21
Age : 30
Location : Abel in Hungryland

Character sheet
Strength :
Poem: My Beloved Left_bar_bleue124/1000Poem: My Beloved Empty_bar_bleue  (124/1000)
Intelligence:
Poem: My Beloved Left_bar_bleue125/1000Poem: My Beloved Empty_bar_bleue  (125/1000)
HP:
Poem: My Beloved Left_bar_bleue122/1000Poem: My Beloved Empty_bar_bleue  (122/1000)

Poem: My Beloved Empty
PostSubject: Re: Poem: My Beloved   Poem: My Beloved I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 23, 2009 8:32 am

Thanks Suzumi and Miyuki! Any critiques anyone has, please post them, I'd like to improve this if possible.
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Nami-Chan
Sophomore
Nami-Chan


Chinese Symbol : Rooster
Posts : 1921
Points : 1868
Join date : 2009-04-13
Age : 30
Location : In the dream worl with my brot

Character sheet
Strength :
Poem: My Beloved Left_bar_bleue39/1000Poem: My Beloved Empty_bar_bleue  (39/1000)
Intelligence:
Poem: My Beloved Left_bar_bleue37/1000Poem: My Beloved Empty_bar_bleue  (37/1000)
HP:
Poem: My Beloved Left_bar_bleue36/1000Poem: My Beloved Empty_bar_bleue  (36/1000)

Poem: My Beloved Empty
PostSubject: Re: Poem: My Beloved   Poem: My Beloved I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 23, 2009 8:59 am

Wow Able! That was great! ^ ^ Good job!
..... :dumb: Wait...we can put poems in the Original box!!!!!!? :ahhh: Why didn't anyone tell me??!!! :tears: So many wasted papers!!!!!!!!! TT . TT I blame the cookie monster... (YEAH THAT'S RIGHT! I'M TALING ABOUT YOU KAITO!!!!!!!!!!!! Rawr! )
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Poem: My Beloved Empty
PostSubject: Re: Poem: My Beloved   Poem: My Beloved I_icon_minitime

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