The Neverending Hit List

A/N: This is a oneshot I just wrote today, and it's unedited and raw. I didn't even read through it twice. I don't know, I just felt like I should just post it up like this, like this is way it's supposed to be. Be prepared for angst, and any romance lovers should GET OUT, because they will hate the ending. ^.^ Please give me criticism or whatnot.

Her friends would think that she was crazy. Yes, she is positive of that. But quite frankly, she doesn’t care, and for a moment, she can almost pretend that they aren’t her friends.

Almost.

She feels guilt poke at the back of her mind very gently—as if with a toothpick, and her fingers twitch very slightly. But there is no sweat forming in the palms of her hands, and she feels no unnatural guilty shine in her eyes, and she knows that she will make it.

The recruiter stares at her lazily, and that is expected. She is a girl, a young woman, and in this world, women will never be better than men. She forces jaws not to grind together, and her lips not to fake a smile when she tells him that she’s nineteen.

You have to be at least eighteen to join the army.

She’s only sixteen, and she’s as nervous as anything, but she’s not quaking in her combat boots.

She knows that if she were wearing heels, she would have fallen over.

--

It’s the first week, and she’s tired. Not exhausted, because exhausted would make her consider quitting. She’s just tired, just slightly weary, and that’s all there is to it.

As she walks to the dining hall, she glares at the direction of a snicker. She doesn’t know just who it is who’s laughing at her, and she hasn’t cared starting the second day.

But she wishes that she had that sniper rifle with her.

--

She’s transferred a week later, and she’s content. Her hair’s still long (she refuses to cut it), but she makes sure it’s clipped up and tucked under her hat. Her chest is bound, and it’s hard to breathe, but she’s getting used to it.

She’s being worked harder than ever, now that everyone assumes that she’s a boy, and she loves it. Her hands are getting calloused from holding her gun too long, and her feet have blisters from marching around in the hot sun. There’s no one offering her a hand to hold, and there are no snickers, and she relishes in the fact that she has to grit her teeth and bare the pain, just like the others.

--

One day, as she’s walking to her room, she passes by a boy around her age. He stops, and for some reason, so does she, and they lock eyes.

“I know,” is all he says.

Her gaze hardens into an icy glare, and the boy stares back at her calmly, but she can see a fire burning behind his eyes.

They stay like that, glaring at each other, for five minutes, before the inspector comes and yells at them for being out of their rooms after curfew.

--

Much to her relief, when she sees that boy again, he doesn’t even look at her until they are assigned to be partners at the shooting range. He doesn’t seem to mind being partners with a girl.

He treats her no differently than he treats the boys, and she’s glad. They never speak to each other, unless one of them asks a question, or corrects the other’s form.

“You’re grip’s all wrong,” he tells her.

She adjusts her grip, and she decides that she likes him enough to become comrades if the time comes.

--

She’s the best sniper among the new recruits, and even some higher ranked officers will grudgingly admit that she has the potential to become the best sniper on the force. And when war breaks out, it is her who is sent to war when there’s a shortage of officers.

He comes along, too, because he’s already becoming well-known for his strategic planning skills. She’s glad that someone she can tolerate is coming along, even if they probably won’t see each other.

It’s her last day of being called a new recruit, and she’s down at the shooting range. She’s staring at the targets, and she knows that tomorrow, the targets will not be circles and cut-outs of humans.

They will be living, breathing, and they will feel the sharp pain of the bullet before they die.

Tomorrow, she will become a murderer.

She takes a shaky breath and stares at her hands. There’s a tap on her shoulder, and when she turns, she sees the boy there, offering her a gun.

“You’ll just be assigned to watch over the camp,” he tells her. “People might pretend they’re dead to kill soldiers.”

She gives him a stiff nod, and stares at the gun.

He doesn’t give her pitying look, but he pushes the gun towards her to let her know that he’s scared, too. “Every time you shoot someone, you’ll be saving a life.”

She takes the gun and turns towards the targets.

--

For once, her hands feel cold and clammy, and her fingers are starting to twitch nervously again. There’s cold sweat running down her face.

She looks through her sniper scope, and she can feel her hand wanting to tremble and drop the gun, and her legs wanting to get up and run awayawayaway but her mind is stronger, and it forces them to stay still.

She sees the crosshairs lock in on a child twitching, and she can see him pulling out a knife behind his back and lunging up to kill someone.

She knows that she never misses, and this time, she almost wishes she would.

She closes her eyes and pulls the trigger.

--

She’s walking back down to camp when her shift is over, and she can feel herself breaking apart. She bumps into him.

They take one look at each other, and with one look at the other’s pained eyes, that they are no longer children. They can’t be, not anymore.

After all, war is no place for children.

--

They walk around camp, splitting a loaf of stale bread and a water canteen.

He tells her of what it’s like to be in the front of the lines, to lead a group of people into a future bloody landmark, where he knows that some will never come out of alive.

She tells him of what it’s like to be forced to kill children who have been pulled into this war, to kill people so fiercely loyal at an age so young. She tells them of what it’s like to kill people just like them.

They both say nothing, and both are thankful the silence.

--

She no longer hesitates to kill, and is no longer afraid to do so.

This alone terrifies her.

She looks through the crosshairs of her sniper scope, and she sees a girl about her age, aiming discreetly at the same man who was almost killed her first day.

She blinks, but she shoots with the girl with her eyes open.

--

When she’s back at camp again, he’s there, waiting for her with a loaf of bread and a water canteen. They walk again, and they say absolutely nothing.

“Thank you,” he suddenly whispers.

And then she knows. She knows that the man that she had saved twice is in fact the very man she’s struggling to stay in-step with.

She offers him a hunk of bread and licks her dry lips.

“Anytime.”

--

She’s not hesitating any longer, and now, she’s not haunted with the idea of killing.

She’s killing to save the lives of others.

Now that she has a reason to kill, she can pull the trigger with only a slight prick of guilt, much like the one that she had when she was being interviewed by the recruiter.

She sees him about to get killed again—this time by an elderly woman—and this time, she doesn’t blink.

--

They’re walking again, and they’re ignoring the rumors they hear about them.

They are not lovers, and they both know that they never will be. To be honest, she’s not even sure if they’re friends.

But they’re companions, and they lean on each other for support. They lean on to each other for the sake of sanity, to have someone to keep them from going mad with the guilt of killing.

And for them, that is enough.

--

When the war ends, they’re both promoted generously.

At the end of the ceremony, there is no “goodbye”, or “so long”, or even a “take care.” There is nothing but a lock of eyes before they walk away.

--

She’s walking, and she can hear her medals clinking. She’s going back to war, but this time, she’s at a higher position.

They meet again, and they both stop.

She gives him a formal salute, and he gives her one in return.

She sees the glint of a wedding band on his finger, and gives him a congratulatory nod before walking past him.

They both know that this will be the last they will ever see each other, even if they both survive this war.

She smiles lightly for a millisecond before picking up her gun.

They need each other no longer.

--

A/N: So yeah, they never get together. Nor do they ever WANT to. So we'll just leave it at that.
(I know, I just totally crushed the whole cliché plotline of them falling in love and depending on one another for the rest of their lives. But that would go against the (un-named) person's character. This is about a girl learning to stand on her own. The guy was just there to help her through the process. And yes, this is finished. I will not write a second chapter or a sequel (though I doubt anyone would ask), because this is where I think the story should end.

i love it i'm glad the didn't get together in the end it may have seemed nice and "oh so lovey dovey" it fits the story much better i get so sick of seeing the "oh so sweet" endings were they fall in love and live "happily ever after" this was vary good

i like it i think the ending's good

Thanks so much. I feel flattered, and I'm glad you guys get the ending. ^.^
But anything you guys didn't like about this story? I know that my writing definitely isn't perfect, and probably never will be, but I still want to improve.

"She forces jaws not to grind together" doesn't sound right at all i don't how to put it but you might want to fix that, "she’s nervous as ever" sounds better also you tend to repeat yourself alot try not to do that so much

Thanks! I just left out the 'her' when I was typing it, so that might be why.
And the repetition was just used to show how she changes over time and stuff. But if you don't like it, I'll see if I can edit some of it.

i'm glad i could help

I love it, and it's not that they needed to be lovers they only needed the companionship,
it's well written and to improve maybe don't use she as much ?
I don't know. I write differently but it's really well written !

Thanks a lot, Sienna! I'm glad you liked it, and I'll try to think of names for the characters next time. >.<

it was awesome will you be writing any other stories? cuz i loved this one

*that was AWESOME!!

hands down great!!