Wonderland.

AN: Yeah, this is a fanfic for Alice in Wonderland. I used it for a school paper as a short story, but I think I'll continue this one. ^.^ I'd like to see constructive criticism, and any flames will be laughed at, especially if they say I have horrible grammar while using any form of l33t. ^.^

-

C: I am well aware of the fact that you have schizophrenia, but now really, why would you follow a rabbit, of all things?

A: Have you ever seen a rabbit in a suit, and pull a watch out of its pocket?

C: No, I haven’t, thank you for asking. Though this is why I am the psychologist, and you are the delusional, insane girl being held at an asylum.

A: I’m not delusional.

C: Tsk, tsk. Denial won’t get you anywhere.

A: You’re my age, but you talk like a smart person. Just how much do you know?

C: I have all the answers, but never enough time to give them.

A: Stop preening, would you? It’s making wonder if my shrink is sane.

C: As you wish.

Tape stopped.


-

I stared at Chester, the shrink, who was sprawled on a long sofa. “Which way do I go now?”

He yawned, bored. “Alice, just where is that you want to go?”

I shrugged. “Anywhere but here, I guess.”

“Then it won’t matter where you go, will it? You’ll get somewhere as long as you walk long enough.”

“Where will each way take me?” I watched as he examined his nails critically.

“If you go to the left,” he gestured to his left briefly, “you’ll come across a man obsessed with having tea parties. Now, if you go to the right,” he gestured briefly to his right, “then you’ll come across a man who is also obsessed with having tea parties. Pick either way you’d like, they’re both mad.”

I scowl at him. “I don’t want to be near people who are insane.”

He looked up at me, for once. “You can’t help that, can you? This is an asylum. We’re all mad. You’re mad, I’m mad.”

“How are you mad? You’re the person who’s supposed to make everyone sane.”

Swinging his legs, Chester sat up. “No, actually, I’m not. This is a peer counseling session, something that the asylum made up to keep us from feeling isolated. I just told you that I was a psychologist because I was bored.”

I groaned. “I really hope that I don’t have to see you again.”

Chester leered at me. “Really? Will you be playing croquet this afternoon?”

“I have to, don’t I? Everyone has to go.”

He stood and began to slink away. “Then I’ll see you there, Alice. Oh,” he turned back and grinned at me. “Welcome to Wonderland.”

-

A: Is she always like that?

C: Who?

A: The girl who was always asking if she was the Queen of Your Heart.

C: Oh, her? Yes, she is. She’s vain, and is not content unless everybody loves her. The poor thing, she’s anorexic.

A: She is? She looked a bit… porky… if you ask me.

C: You’re delusional, remember?

-

Forcing my heart to stop beating so quickly, I scope out the hallway, looking for Cat. His purple ears and tail stick out almost immediately.

He meets my eye for a half a second before he starts to ward off the Queen of Hearts.

“Tell me,” she whispers, squeezing his hand. “Am I the Queen of Your Heart?”

I can see her triple chin bobbing up and down as she looks up at him hopefully.

Cat somehow manages to pull his hand away before holding her hand gently. “Madam,” he says, “you will never be her.”

He drops her hand and starts walking away.

The Queen of Hearts stomps angrily, face turning a bright shade of red. “Off with your head!”

He ignores her and disappears from her line of sight.

I turn away and pretend to watch the Playing Cards making brushstrokes into the air. I remember when I had asked them what they were doing when I first got here.

“We’re painting the roses red,” was all they would tell me.

I hear the fire alarm go off, and I smirk. Everyone’s running around frantically; there never has been a fire drill before. The shrinks thought it would be too dangerous to let everyone out of the asylum, and wouldn’t let us near a door with an exit sign over it.

With all the pandemonium going on, I sneak down the hallway and into a closet. Removing a few loose floorboards, I stare at the hole I made for a few seconds before I jump.

-

I land in the basement, on a pile of sacks filled with who-knows-what. I grimace when I realize I can’t see, and call out blindly.

“Cat! Cat! Where are you?”

Cat, of course, materializes out of nowhere right behind me. “I’m right here, Alice. And do stop calling me Cat, would you?”

I smirk, knowing that he would know that I was, even if he couldn’t see. “Not a chance, Cat.”

-

C: You’re delusional, correct?

A: Apparently.

C: So do you see things—or people—differently?

A: I guess so. I see you with purple cat ears, and nice, fluffy tail.

C: Oh, how charming.

-

Cat clicks on a flashlight that he had managed to smuggle from somewhere, and motions for me to follow him. I trot behind him obediently, almost crashing into random bits of machinery whenever he makes a random veer in another direction.

I grimace when I see a door. “Doesn’t this lead back up to the asylum?”

“Yes,” he says. “I suppose it does.”

“Then why are we going this way? I thought we were trying to escape!”

Cat turns and his lips curl. “Alice, Alice, Alice. We need to have sufficient supplies to escape. We currently do not have anything that might be remotely useful besides this flashlight, which is clearly running out of batteries.” He taps the light impatiently, as if ordering it to stop blinking. Miraculously, it does.

“Now,” he says, gesturing towards the door gracefully, “shall we go?”

I sigh. “I really don’t see why we had to go through all the trouble to get to the basement if we’re just going back up.”

“We had to get everyone out through the ‘fire’. Besides, sometimes, you just need a great fall the get you thinking."

I mutter under my breath, but I know that he’s right. Cat’s always right, the certified genius he is.

-

A: I just realized something.

C: What is it?

A: I’m always the one telling you about myself. Why don’t we talk about your for once?

(Five second interval)

A: For starters, why are you here?

(Ten second interval)

C: I don’t know…

-

I shake my head and follow Cat towards the door. We’ll find why Cat’s here in Wonderland—we have to.

“Hey, Cat.”

“What is it?”

“Since you’ve definitely come up with some kind of complicated plan that will take a while to get us out, do you want to stall a little longer and find out why you’re here?”

I can only see the back of his head, but I know his eyes are gleaming. “Why, how kind of you to ask. What makes you think we’ll find out?”

“Because we have you here, the resident genius, and me, of course. Besides-“

Cat’s voice chimes in with mine.

“This is Wonderland.”

ah this great i want more! XD

Shin! That was awesome! You have to write more please! ^ ^ It would be really great if you did. ^ ^